secrets, secrets are no fun, unless they're shared with everyone

when You are used to being a certin way.. its hard to get out of that rut.. especially when its been for self preservation. i cannot physically face anyone, and talk about my feelings or emotions. it is impossible for me. untill now, i guess. because it is expected of me, that i will talk, about my feelings, or if somethings wrong.. about anything.. and everything. ill get over it eventually, quickly i hope.. but it wont be over night. so ill get over it, grin and bear it to the best of my ability. but i cant just snap my fingers and do it. but ill try.. because its what She.. they.. want and expect